Monday, January 23

10 years? That's a decade.

You're asking me where do I see myself in ten years.

By then I will be 30. Gross, I can't even think about me being 30. But I'm hoping I'll age nicely and still be able to wear what I want to wear anytime, anywhere. I'd still be into fitness, or more of, I'd be into fitness more. We'll run marathons and take on new workouts regularly. Ten years from now I'm sure I can already differentiate what actually looks good and what I only think looks good. My eating habits would have already been better (hopefully, I turn vegan) and I'll cook for you whenever I have the time. All yoga poses would already be in my heart and I'll force you to meditate with me every now and then.

Ten years from now, I'd probably still be in law school. I feel like I really need/want/am destined to go to law school but my time just isn't now (or maybe it is, I don't know, whatever). It would be painful to balance everything but you'd buy me choco chip muffins and tea lattes so I'll get by everyday. By then I'd be done with my graduate course on Women and Development already and I'd have gone to various places in the country (and out, if my bank account permits) for volunteering opportunities. By then, my desire to live a happy hippie life would have already been fulfilled. By then, I wouldn't just be a young girl in your eyes; I would be a grown-up, a possible partner 'til the world ends.

Ten years from now, I'm sure we'd already have our own family. You, me, and a little kid in our own little sanctuary. We'd have our own cars and we won't have a stay-in housemaid because that is just slavery. We'll need help of course because we wouldn't be able to handle cleaning the whole house and all the other chores everyday what with all the responsibilities in our individual and consolidated plates. We'll have to depend on our extended families every now and then but we'll manage to keep our independence.

Ten years from now, I wouldn't be writing blog posts to no one anymore because I'd already, finally be sure that you are mine and I am yours. My online life wouldn't have to be a little bit superfluous anymore because my real life with you would really, truly be awesome. By then, when I am 30, I'd finally, truly be able to say that I am happy.

Oh, right. You asked me about MY future.

Disclaimer: This conversation may or may not have been imagined. The dreams and hopes in here may or may not be true. Judge me.

Saturday, January 14

How to be a zombie

Or the bored person's guide to not sleeping and other unhealthy habits. (Or, it's just being a zombie is more fun in the Philippines.)

What you need:
  1. A real, challenging job
  2. 6 units of graduate studies
  3. An unequivocal desire to lose weight
  4. People in your life
What to do:
  1. Wake up on a Wednesday morning feeling like you can conquer the world because of the good phrases that your bosses have provided you with. Get some work done and head out for your errands.
  2. Go to a lunch function full of lawyers and not say a word. What the F is litigation? Try to look your best and smile but spend your time eating and tweeting.
  3. Attend a meeting for a project that you have very little background with for the first time. Get some smoothie and muffin and freeze your brain out before the meeting does.
  4. Go get some dinner with your colleagues. Talk about your personal dating life and forget about the hierarchies at work for one. Think about tomorrow, tomorrow.
  5. Decide to go home when they said they will do some walking around first. Realize that you have a book report that was due a week ago. You have not started writing about that yet.
  6. Waste no time and start writing your book report. Thank God you made notes while cramming all the readings you made last weekend and a little last holiday vacation.
  7. Down your first cup of coffee.
  8. Write like there is no tomorrow until your hands are shaking because you'd realize that it is already 3 in the morning and you need to get some sleep. You are not finished with your report yet.
  9. Sleep for a few hours and go back to writing. Cram, but with class like ho a graduate student would do it.
  10. Panic because you have a meeting with your boss in a few.
  11. Finish your paper but leave the conclusion open. You cannot think anymore.
  12. Go to Seattle's and order a big breakfast. You will feel like you deserve all these food because you are not in college anymore and your body cannot handle all-nighters.
  13. After the meeting, walk around Tomas Morato to look for your event's venue. Don't mind the scorching heat of the sun.
  14. Go to your office for another meeting. Finish off some tasks as you wait for your partners.
  15. Down your first bottle of energy drink.
  16. Leave the meeting prematurely because you have to cram for your graduate class.
  17. Write an epilogue for your paper and cram reading abut women's work and globalization in less than an hour.
  18. Attend a feminist class that discusses women's work vis-a-vis globalization and its relation to the sexual division of labor.
  19. Feel your brain cells dying, one by one.
  20. After class, wait for a jeep for an hour. Be thankful for the fact that you have people.
  21. Realize that you have not decently eaten anything since 10am. Find food and talk to your older cousin about her complicated love life.
  22. Read around Thought Catalog and waste time on the internet.
  23. Finally decide to sleep. It is not for the weak.
  24. Wake up in the morning after 7ish hours and feel like getting a drink. Indeed, sometimes, little sleep equates to increased productivity compared to complete sleep.

Friday, January 6

Kung si Derek Ramsey ang nag-Asiong Salonga

I probably wouldn't have been bothered by that opening scene wherein Asiong was getting juiced by another gangster, while his arms were tied up and his armpits were exposed gravely. I probably wouldn't have noticed that when Asiong and his gang were going for resbak, they brought knives; but during the encounter, they killed them all with guns. I probably wouldn't have laughed when he went into an arm-to-arm, no-guns-in-this-battle fight with Totoy Golem.

I probably wouldn't have cringed every effin' time that he had an intimate scene with a lady -- those kisses on Valerie Concepcion's neck, that short foreplay scene with the ticket booth lady, and the many times he had to kiss his wife, Carla Abellana. Ugh, the horror of seeing an old man be intimate with very much younger ladies (and someone who doesn't kiss nicely on camera at that).

I probably wouldn't have minded that he made a lot of unnecessary hand and arm gestures while delivering lines. I probably would have looked over the fact that they brought up the Liberal Party a little much (and somehow single-handedly categorized Nacionalista as the enemy). I probably wouldn't have paid attention to the Chuck Taylor shoes that a lot of them were wearing.

I probably would have teared up when he learned that his mother has died while he was in jail. I probably would have cheered on his wife when she confronted the other woman. I probably would have felt his pain while he was healing himself in a cold, dark, maximum security place aka bartolina after the knife fight

I probably would have taken Asiong's very sexist words (wala kang ibang gagawin kung hindi hintayin ako at magpaganda ka lang lagi, or something to that effect) seriously and threw the bottle of water that I was drinking to the big screen instead of just laughing off at it. I probably would have cried like a baby when he was whispering sweet words and vows to his wife while they were dancing to the tune of a very awesome song (note to self: get a copy of the movie's soundtrack) in a very regal affair, wearing very regal attires.

But I probably would have died along with that bullet that went through his head because I just can never bear to see my Derek Ramsey killed so violently.

So what if it was Dennis Trillo? Or Baron Geisler? Baron should've gotten an award or something.

Kidding aside and for whatever's worth, I seriously enjoyed the movie even though I was wearing my feminist goggles. I'm just hoping the life of women in Tondo is far from that now. A lot about the movie is awesome: the fast to slow transitions, the lightning, the costume and makeup, the fact that it is black and white, the patayan scenes, the script, the rain and how they manipulated its visual, it being an underdog, the camera angles -- a lot. And it is great in the sense that I am sure this film would bring back the life of action movies in our country's entertainment industry. But seriously, to the producers, do a version with Derek Ramsey.