Because I've already cried my first tears for law school this afternoon (side note: I seriously have no idea why I cried like a baby - I didn't have a bad recit, I wasn't that much overwhelmed by the amount of pages that we have to read - so I'm blaming my hormones), I believe that it is high time that I write that letter to my future self that I have been meaning to write since I entered Malcolm Hell - I mean Hall.
I am hoping that by now you are already reviewing for the bar. Remember how much we studied in college before? I'm sure your habits are far from those now because there is no way you'll be able to stay in law school with those bountiful of insanity attacks and laziness.
We were never a diligent student. We studied when we needed, which was during exam weeks or paper deadlines, but for most days we wasted our time away watching Hollywood series, stalking friends of friends on Facebook, drinking our self 'til we're broke, making tambay, and a lot of other unproductive and unnecessary things.
Indeed, those days, which we've always thought to be the highest point of our life, are over. And yes, those aren't the highest point of our life, law school is.
It's awesome when after the longest time of not knowing what to do and where to go, the universe suddenly conspires and pushes you to the direction that you need to be. Yes, going to law school at the time that we did was not the original plan but that's okay. It was not easy, and probably a hell lot tougher than if I had envisioned it coming. So I'm writing you this letter for the purpose that you do not give up and you do not lose hope because I didn't and I wouldn't.
I didn't give up because this was our childhood dream. Remember that short essay that we wrote in the fourth grade about how we foresee our future life will be? "I'm going to be a lawyer," we said. This may be the one thing that we could repay our family with for all the awesome things that they have provided us but this is our dream - not mom's, not Lolo Juan's - OURS.
I didn't' give up because I have always been passionate about a lot of things - women's rights, children's rights, animal rights, health rights, all rights. But the problem has always been not knowing how to really help, how to really accomplish something. This is the way to fix that. Whenever you feel like there's just no point in doing the things you do, just remember that by the time I am writing this women and children are dying all because of the positions that they occupy in this society. We don't want more of them to die, we want those deaths to stop. Get your license and fix this effed up system.
I didn't give up because I want to give back to Subic, our hometown. The law is such an alienating field but it is the right of everyone to know about it, understand it, and be empowered by it. We can help them achieve that, just get your effin' license.
So there. I just lost my trail of thoughts so there. Just don't give up okay. I'm counting on you.