So long sweet summer

I may have neglected this blog this summer but I surely am not abandoning it. That said, here's a quick rundown of what went down last summer.

First stop: Batangas

The weekend after I went to Singapore, my mudraks invited me to come with them (the steppudraks and Evette) to Batangas for a wedding. The wedding wasn't memorable but Malarayat Gold and Country Club was awesome. Too bad I don't have the pictures with me here in my laptop but here's a memory:

Le sister and I trying to order some midnight snack. Too bad the chef's already gone home. (Huhu, my BB)

Next stop: Subic

Yeah, like there's something new about me being in Subic. But this summer's Holy Week in Subic was awesome because I got to spend it with my cousins.

Logos Hope -- a ship full of books, where we decide to indulge in ice cream

White Rock Beach Resort -- Artificial waves, more fun than real ones

Third stop: Cavite
For some reason I have been in constant search of some solitude and cleansing of the soul since the start of the year. Finally got the chance to have some this summer with the BLD Community in Cavite. It was a weekend of realization, repentance, and healing. I met new people, learned more about my religion, and let go and let God. Too bad I don't think I have pictures.

Fourth: Boracay
I was finally able to check this island off my bucketlist. It was random and I'm broke because of it but all's well that ends well. We tried a handful of water activities (flyfish, zorb, and parasailing), swam to take loads of pictures, and drank like we own the place. Unnecessary circumstances, bullshit, lost havs, and my big tummy aside, I had a great first time.

No more calamansi muffins for us but we're still happy bananas.

Moments before I realized I'm allergic to sea water. That, or the water's just too dirty.

Touchdown Boracay!

Yay for underwater cameras!

Final Destination: Potipot
And just before I entered law school, I went to Potipot, Zambales with my sorority sisters for some awesome bonding experience. It was the perfect chill icing to my awesome summer cupcake.

Welcome, sisters!

Off to the island!

Stop looking at my big arms.

2010s for Pink Team!

Something I missed: Anawangin
Too bad though, I was not able to come with my crazy high school barkada to their spontaneous island trip to Anawangin, Zambales. Oh the odds of growing up (aka work responsibilities).

I miss these crazy ladies so terribly much.

So that was my awesome summer, despite all the other thorny things last few months. Next stop, law school!

Disclaimer: Pictures aren't mine! Grabbed them from random friends' accounts on Facebook. All credits go to them!

This long overdue blog post about Singapore

The Singapore trip that almost checked my whole bucket list --
Writing on my plane back home because I don't want to tear up alone.

Or more of, the sweetest, coolest days of my life so far.

I'm currently running on a 0-peso bank account (update: my bank account closed by itself due to the 0 balance dilemma so I had to create a new one which is now running on a negative balance, which I didn't know until now was possible) but I seriously don't mind because I got a lot of all the things I ever wanted, needed, plus more. My life right now is so crazy awesome that I'm actually afraid to live another day because it might ruin it all, especially given that I also run on stupid decisions and unnecessary mistakes (update: true enough, hello holduper, bye phone).

Hiding from the sun and that crazy stalker taking all my pictures, hihi as if.

Of getting what I needed
The WCTOH 2012 was nothing short of awesome. I met a lot of people from all over the world, bonded with youths fueled with passion, learned a bunch through lecture and practice from experts and champions, and kept with my being a vegetarian because of the special recipes and accessible healthy diets. I'm more than sure that if ever I end up being in Nigeria or Malaysia or Chile, I'll have a familiar face to run to.

Hello from the Southeast Asians!

Live it up without lighting up!

Closing time

I realized in this week-long conference how deep I already am in this whole tobacco control and health advocacy. Each of my sharing about the Philippines was filled with either utter disgust or awe. I cringed at every dirty tobacco industry tactic discussed. My blood boiled for the need for FCTC implementation in our nation.

Most important of it all, my heart now beats so much for HealthJustice, our organization which received a cool recognition from Mayor Bloomberg aka the Bloomberg Awards. This is not a job; this is life.

The HJ team with ze bosses and some partners in the advocacy.

There'll always be a Friday night. (Photo from Atty. Irene, our Managing Director)

Time's Up, Tobacco! Check us out @ http://timesuptobacco.com (Photo also from Atty. Irene)

Of getting what I wanted
I went to Singapore wanting only two things: to learn and to be part of something big, and I got those as previously mentioned. What's interesting is, incidentally, it was also during this Singapore week that the LAE results came out.

4-5 years of my youth for this. Bring it on, law school!

When I was a kid, I never wanted to be anything but a lawyer. When I got older, I wanted it for my family and for the people in Subic. But I got even older and went to not knowing what I wanted anymore.

Now, the universe has spoken: this is what I need to do with, or to be in this gift that is my life. I'm still so overwhelmed (update: yes, until now) by the fact that I'll be in UP Law (in less than two months) and by the amount of love and appreciation that I have been getting. Awesome life is awesome.

Going back to the Singapore trip, it gave me back that sort of independence that I feel like I have lost when I stopped living alone. I departed Manila alone, with a need of a wheelchair (update: huhu no more picture because I didn't get to retrieve it from my phone, or did I?) because my right knee decided to swell up the day before my flight, and arrived alone feeling so fly like a G6. I made "adult" decisions (aka rebooked my flight back to Manila from Friday to Sunday) and walked around Singapore wearing suits, makeup, and superfluous documents. Most of all, I was funding my own happiness.

I felt like I was 24. Or 27.

Of getting so much more than what I thought I wanted and needed
Often times we meet people and think, "Oh, this is someone I can see to be in my life." But what happens when it's the opposite?

Oh shut up self. Let's just leave this blog post at that. Let's just be content with knowing that I am happy in spite and despite of the craziness this universe is serving my platter. And that when we ask for something, I mean really, really ask, He will give it.

Again, awesome life is awesome.

PS. I didn't take these photos (malamang) nor are they from my camera. I have my own personal photographer, haha. You know who you are, thank you!

Kung si Derek Ramsey ang nag-Asiong Salonga

I probably wouldn't have been bothered by that opening scene wherein Asiong was getting juiced by another gangster, while his arms were tied up and his armpits were exposed gravely. I probably wouldn't have noticed that when Asiong and his gang were going for resbak, they brought knives; but during the encounter, they killed them all with guns. I probably wouldn't have laughed when he went into an arm-to-arm, no-guns-in-this-battle fight with Totoy Golem.

I probably wouldn't have cringed every effin' time that he had an intimate scene with a lady -- those kisses on Valerie Concepcion's neck, that short foreplay scene with the ticket booth lady, and the many times he had to kiss his wife, Carla Abellana. Ugh, the horror of seeing an old man be intimate with very much younger ladies (and someone who doesn't kiss nicely on camera at that).

I probably wouldn't have minded that he made a lot of unnecessary hand and arm gestures while delivering lines. I probably would have looked over the fact that they brought up the Liberal Party a little much (and somehow single-handedly categorized Nacionalista as the enemy). I probably wouldn't have paid attention to the Chuck Taylor shoes that a lot of them were wearing.

I probably would have teared up when he learned that his mother has died while he was in jail. I probably would have cheered on his wife when she confronted the other woman. I probably would have felt his pain while he was healing himself in a cold, dark, maximum security place aka bartolina after the knife fight

I probably would have taken Asiong's very sexist words (wala kang ibang gagawin kung hindi hintayin ako at magpaganda ka lang lagi, or something to that effect) seriously and threw the bottle of water that I was drinking to the big screen instead of just laughing off at it. I probably would have cried like a baby when he was whispering sweet words and vows to his wife while they were dancing to the tune of a very awesome song (note to self: get a copy of the movie's soundtrack) in a very regal affair, wearing very regal attires.

But I probably would have died along with that bullet that went through his head because I just can never bear to see my Derek Ramsey killed so violently.

So what if it was Dennis Trillo? Or Baron Geisler? Baron should've gotten an award or something.

Kidding aside and for whatever's worth, I seriously enjoyed the movie even though I was wearing my feminist goggles. I'm just hoping the life of women in Tondo is far from that now. A lot about the movie is awesome: the fast to slow transitions, the lightning, the costume and makeup, the fact that it is black and white, the patayan scenes, the script, the rain and how they manipulated its visual, it being an underdog, the camera angles -- a lot. And it is great in the sense that I am sure this film would bring back the life of action movies in our country's entertainment industry. But seriously, to the producers, do a version with Derek Ramsey.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire?

Somebody's feeling Grinch-y this season. And as much as I would like to blame this to this country's failures (roll credits: the government, the "destabilization" of the Supreme Court, the people dying from tobacco-induced diseases, the cases of VAW in the country, and a whole lot more), well I won't because I really don't. I just want to take last Saturday back because it freakin' moved me back to where I was a few months ago. F.

The cold season is making me fat and sad. I eat when I'm sad so I turn fat which also makes me sad. But 'tis the season to be jolly so I must find this thing that they say is the true meaning of Christmas deep down in my heart.

And because my feelings pass as easy and as fast as the wind blows, I am suddenly all so excited for 2012. Now tell me who's random.

I guess a little laugh trip over some friends' photo album documenting their chat roulette escapades on facebook can actually give a person a different perspective, a different sense of life. That sounded shallow. But it's true; they actually kind of made my lazy day.

Suddenly, I don't feel any pressure to know what will happen next. Suddenly, I don't feel the need to plan what tomorrow should bring. Suddenly, I don't feel it's important to already be with somebody. I have this whole life ahead of me and I know everything will fall into their rightful places. I just know it.

It's too early to make a goodbye 2011 post but I just really need to say it now - 2012 is going to be awesome and I cannot wait for whatever is in store. Guess this one shifted this blog's gear back to happyland.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Forever young

Before anything else, I just really need to share this: guess whose first PR for work got picked up by Manila Times today? http://www.manilatimes.net/index.php/news/top-stories/11005-more-young-pinays-take-to-smoking--tobacco-study

I'm a very happy and superbly thankful kid.

----

Today I had my first class for the semester which was on women and work with no less than the Prof. Judy Taguiwalo. So imagine my surprise when the class discussion suddenly became a conversation about my family.

Ma'am Judy: Saan ang probinsya mo, Erika?
Erika: Sa Zambales po, Subic.
Monica: Magkababayan tayo. Cabangan naman side ng father ko.
Erika: Yung side po ng mom ko, Deveraturda, originally from Iba.
Monica: Kaano-ano mo si Dennis Deveraturda?
Erika: Tito ko po. Second eldest nila mommy.
Monica: Mother ko yung nagsulat ng article tungkol sa kanya!
Ma'am Judy: Dennis Deveraturda? Kasabayan ko yun! May mga pictures pa nya ko.*

I have spent a lot of time writing about my crazy antics, random adventures, and passing thoughts. It's about time I write something that is actually worth somebody's time.

I never met Tito Dennis. Everything that I know about him I only got from the stories of the clan. All that I am sure of is that he was one of the reasons why it was not an easy decision for me to choose UP over the others.

Luckily, Google knows him better. He was one of those who "lost their lives in the night when they were in the cusp of youth and did not get to see the breaking of dawn."** He was a champion of and for the farmers. He was studying Economics and was just 19 when he was killed in Botolan, Zambales. Google, however, does not have any real picture of my uncle.

DENNIS ROLANDO R. DEVERATURDA (1952 - 1972) of Subic, Zambales
For courageously joining, and later, generating and leading discussions with fellow college students at the University of the Philippines concerning the country's worsening political situation; For showing a wise regard for the role of ordinary people in the growing struggle, by bringing these academic discussions to his hometown Zambales, enlightening his provincemates through debates at plazas, hiking long kilometers and living with farmers and fishers in their village homes to elicit their views and participation in the struggle to resist abuses and defend civil rights; For giving and sacrificing his young and very short life, having his future snuffed out in his prime through assassination by constabulary soldiers. (from Bantayog ng mga Bayani)

It is overwhelming and heartwarming to see his name alongside Lorena Barros, Renato Constantino, and many, many very notable others.

I was never the UP student that he was. I wasted a big chunk of opportunities for learning and serving the people for trivial matters that I do not even remember now, at all. Nevertheless, wherever you are, Tito Dennis, please know that your death will not be for nothing. I, too, envision a society wherein the poor does not get poorer when the rich get richer; a country where women do not need to assert their own specific rights anymore because they we are also humans in the first place; a population who does not deprive their children of their youth through various exploitations; a nation who does not take the cost of destroyed natural resources for granted for a supposed misconception of development.

I may never be as brave as you were and my priorities can sometimes be crooked but I swear I'll never stop aiming to contribute, however little, to the realization of that vision that you had for this nation. But I can only try as much so feel free to give me a slight bump on the head whenever I go the wrong way.

"Gwapo yung si Dennis, matalino. He will be forever young."


* Conversation not verbatim. They had a lot of awesome things to say about Tito Dennis but my memory can only retain this much.
** Doyo, M.C.P. 2006. Munoz-Palma leads 10 Bantayog heroes. Philippine Daily Inquirer. Retrieved from http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20061130-35574/Mu%F1oz-Palma_leads_10_Bantayog_heroes

You know what it is

It's always funny when you put on some lyrics on your Facebook status then your family replies with loads of supportive messages, not knowing that it was just a song.

I was supposed to do some editing and blur names but I don't know how and I got lazy.

So what is up, awesome world?

I had a nice weekend. My friend since forever, Camille, is here with me for the long weekend just because. She just flew back from Davao and was supposed to attend to some stuff here in Manila then go back to Los Banos, but we ended up bumming around and talking like we haven't talked before. We went shopping last Saturday and yesterday I got her to attend the mass with me then she cooked dinner. We're feeling like the grown-ups we've always wanted to be but really (somehow) we're still those crazy kids that we were in high school.

Picture/s from http://locamilla.tumblr.com

It was also the first BarOps weekend this weekend! Redundant, much? Hotel rooms, cute guys, lotsa food, bonding with sisters - the life? Noooot. Reality: run around like crazy kids, get no sleep, run some more for tips and/or food, run after cabs, stay awake with too much coffee, fast food galore.. but honestly, I love, love, love, love BarOps weekends. I wasn't on shift this weekend but I went anyways because I don't want to miss a thing.

With my pretty batchmates. Ours is the most bibbo set, though 'coz we're always complete, bye Rae, haha. Apes was in the area also but she had girlfriend duties, haha. (Photo from Nak on facebook)

So yes, I had a pretty good weekend. I was supposed to go to Star City with my cousins also but then it rained and I got broke and lazy but whatever, there's always  next time.

Back to reality..

I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold

Today I received another reason to be happy. And they money can't buy you happiness?

I actually wrote a blog post offline the other day to celebrate the greatness of October but I'm iffy to post it now because I have happier things to write about. Oh don't get me wrong, no, October was beyond awesome - no exaggeration. Let's not go into the details anymore but you know what they say, when it rains, it really pours. Hard. (I think other than the words awesome and happiness, you'd realize that quotes and cliches are the most numerous in this blog.) And I'm pretty sure the November and December are going to be even greater.

So I went to Subic last super long weekend. As expected, I pigged out and bummed around. We watched Praybeyt Benjamin (oh the things I'll do to see a naked Derek Ramsey), played poker (I'd like to think that I actually won - I ended up having all the chips but my stepdad played it at first so the seat was already winning when I took over - but I still ended up not getting any money because they used the pot to buy loads of ice cream), went fishing, ate a lot, and a lot more but I'm too lazy to think. It was crazy hot in Subic and it felt like summer. I had an awesome time with my family so despite all the allergies the heat gave me, I remain a happy kid.

And because all my old blogs lacked pictures, I'm going to load this one with lots. (I'd love to post Subic pictures but my big little sister has not posted them on facebook yet so I'll edit this and just post them some other time.)

Xtremely Xpresso's Big Ben, how I missed thee

My dad and brotha. (It's kinda weird to post something like this in here but they're the reason why I went home to Subic in the first place so yeah whatever.)

Vacation time's over. Time to cram for work and prepare for the coming semester. Yes Eka, you asked for a stressful life.

Happiness is a state of mind

Hi. My name is Erika, I'm turning 21 eventually, and I am at the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life.

No, this isn't just one of those brief (and seldom) moments wherein I'm feeling so overjoyed one second then the next thing you know I'm a hot ball of mess. No, I am truly, generally, very happy (and grateful) with where I am in my life right now.

Well for one, my first semester in MAWD just (technically) ended today. I survived! I would very much like to talk about how these first five months of supposedly being a feminist completely overhauled the life that I have already been living for two decades but that's a whole other story deserving of a whole other blog post.

Anyways, during our short dinner-cum-celebration a while ago, my classmates told our professor that I finally have a real, full-time job. They started to ask questions so I eventually talked about it. Then that's when it hit me - I really have a job now. I have a job; I'm finally growing up.

2011 has not even ended yet and already it has brought a lot of changes in my life. Among these things: I graduated from college, enrolled myself to a graduate program specifically studying about women, realized my potential as a development advocate, actually thoroughly planned for my future, strengthened my faith and spiritual relationship, actually committed to a healthy lifestyle through diet and exercise, got a job that I really like, and allowed myself to feel again and be vulnerable.

It has not been an easy ride. I encountered a lot of self-doubt, uncertainty, frustrations, and lost hopes but the bumps along the way are more than worth all that I have right now. I am secure; I am truly happy. I have changed (hopefully for the better) and I would like to think that I am a lot closer to the self that I have been envisioning for a couple of years now.

But the problem with attaining such sense of being complete, of utmost happiness, is the what comes after. It's not necessarily about that pessimistic thinking that something bad might happen because there should be balance in nature. It's more of now that I'm here, what do I do next?

Hence the birth of this blog. If you'd search for my name through Google, at least ten pages of links of my social networking accounts will flood your screen. I can't say that I won't abandon this one just like how I abandoned the many others (commitment issues, another thing that I should write about in the future) but what the heck. Truth be told, I am at the happiest that I have ever been.